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Kumagawa Misogi vs Sans
Description The Minus versus the Skeleton! Who will walk a way from this encounter of these smiling dangers? The boy who crawls among chaos and despair? Or the pun making elder skeleton brother? Who do you think will win? Kumagawa Misogi Sans Intro Boomstick: If experience has taught me anything, any guy who is always smiling is either on some very good drug or is the most dangerous guy you will ever know. Wiz: Although their smile shows warmth and a friendly nature, what lies behind those smiles, is something much more dangerous. Boomstick: Kumagawa Misogi, the world's weakest person... Wiz: And Sans the skeleton, the underground's master of puns... Boomstick: He's Wiz and I'm Boomstick. Wiz: And it's our job to analyze their weapons, armor, and skill to see who would win a death battle. Kumagawa Misogi Wiz: Hakoniwa Academy is a school built for the talented. Whether you're a Abnormal, Special, or even a Normal, this academy is far from your typical Japanese high school. Boomstick: However, there is one student who is quite different and far above, or in this case, below the rest. Wiz: Ever since he was young, Kumagawa Misogi has always been a strange and complex individual. Boomstick: Ain't that the understatement of the year. See he went to this hospital that was supposed to determine if he was OK in the head and he managed to get his way out. Wiz: After threatening the lead psychosomatic surgeon Dr. Hitomi Hitoyoshi with her own son, Kumagawa was free to walk out of the hospital with a 'doctor approved' mentality of Normal. Boomstick: And that was when he was 4 years old! Wiz: Without the help of the doctors, Kumagawa's mind and mentality only continued to get worse and worse. Then, some time before he got to middle school, Kumagawa had developed one goal: to destroy the elite and talented. Boomstick: Then somehow in middle school this guy became the student council president. Seriously, how did this happen?! Wiz: It is rather unknown how Kumagawa had gained this position, but it can be inferred on who helped him. And that would be his vice president and love, Najimi Ajima. Anshin'in: Please, we're friends, just call me Anshin'in-san. Boomstick: Well however it happened, thanks to her, Kumagawa was able to go from a zero percent approval rating to nearly 100 percent approval. Wiz: It was also in middle school that Kumagawa met for the second time in his life his future rival and opposite, Medaka Kurokami. Boomstick: Dear god! Look at the size of those things! And she can even hide a fan in there?! Looks like Mai has some competition. Wiz: ...Anyway, knowing how Medaka was a threat to his plan, Kumagawa had tried to get his personal enforcer, Kouki Akune, to kill Medaka. Boomstick: However, this only failed and Akune jumped ship to join team Medaka. Wiz: It was then that Kumagawa began to have doubting feelings about his vice president on whether or not he loved her just for her looks. Boomstick: So Kumagawa decided to do a little test. And what do you know, he was wrong! Even with her face literally ripped of, he still loved her. Man, that is both creepy and sweet. Wiz: It was then that Kumagawa had been forced out of their middle school by Medaka after the activation and first use of her War God Mode. And for the next 3 years, he kept hopping around schools until he transferred to Hakoniwa Academy to challenge Medaka and beat her in order to start his plan to take down the elite. Boomstick: Well to take on someone like Medaka Kurokami, you are goign to be needing to be packing some serious firepower. Kumagawa has superhuman strength, speed, and stamina. He has also likes to fight with probably one of the strangest weapons anyone would uses, screws. And man does he have a lot of them. He loves to thrust them, stab them, and pierce his enemies with them. Wiz: Uh...In other words, Kumagawa prefers to use his screws as makeshift swords, lances, and other such weapons. Boomstick: With these screws he also loves to throw them at his enemy, and he is quite good with them. Not to mention he also loves to just pin down opponents with them. Wiz: He also posses several Minuses, abilities and powers that allows one to do incredible feats and tasks. Boomstick: Kind of like mutant powers from X-men! Wiz: Well...in a way. Minuses are actually abilities a person gains due to their personality, such as the ability to rot things for a person who sees the world rotting through their eyes. In other words, the more messed up a persons mind is and the more it has deteriorated, the more powerful the minus. Boomstick: And as stated, Kumagawa has got lots of them.First their is his original Minus, Bookmaker. Wiz: With this Minus, it takes the form of a very long screw with a minus sign on its flat edge. When his opponent is pierced through with this attack, it does not really do any kind of lethal or physical damage, instead it does something much worse. Boomstick: You see, when you're hit with this thing you are brought down to Kumagawa's level. Which really does not make any sense. Wiz: Well think of it like this: Minuses are gained based on how the person personality grows and how twisted their minds gets. In Kumagawa case, he wishes to bring down everyone to his level. And that is exactly what Bookmaker does; it seals away any ability that Kumagawa does not have, brings their strength and abilities down to his level, and even gives them the hopeless viewpoint Kumagawa posses. In short, Bookmaker is a Minus that can turn others into Minuses. Boomstick: Damn...well that's not the only thing he's got up his sleeve; he's also got a variation on his Bookmaker known as the Leg-Eating Forrest, which sprouts several huge screws from the freackin' ground. And guess what, every single one of those screws are Bookmaker screws with their heads hidden. Wiz: Kumagawa's second and most well known, along with the his most used, is known as All Fiction. Boomstick: If you thought Bookmaker was bad, wait til you get a load of this. See, when Kumagawa was still in middle school, he traded in Bookmaker in for another skill from Anshin'in known as Hundred Gauntlets. Wiz: According to Anshin'in, Hundred Gauntlets was a passive skill that reversed the cause and effect equation. However after being given to Kumagawa, his personality managed to warp the skill into an ability that does not reverse cause and effect, but erases both. Boomstick: He was so messed up that a skill changed completely when given to him. But like said, All Fiction can erase all realities. This means it makes stuff disappear. For good. Wiz: Books, trees, people, and even life threatening injuries, all Kumagawa has to do is just use All Fiction and its entire reality is gone. Boomstick: It's so powerful, he even erased the entire existence of color just because he wanted to stop one dude's own skill. He erased color. Let that sink for a moment. Wiz: This proves that Kumagawa does not necessarily have to be touching something for him to erase it. Kumagawa also likes to use All Fiction to erase the reality of a person's death, including his own. Boomstick: How the hell does that work? How can you erase your own death? Wiz: Well, think of All Fiction as a automatic ability that activates when Kumagawa dies. After this, he is brought back to life with any and all injuries dealt to him completely healed. Boomstick: Well...I'd hate to be the guy on the other side. Wiz: Along with this, Kumagawa has developed two sub-minuses from All Fiction: April Fiction and Non-Fiction. Boomstick: The former is rather exactly like All Fiction except it only erases somethings existence for about 3 minutes. And the latter undoes the effects of All Fiction. Wiz: While that may be what is said, Non-Fiction has never truly been used as all who have been offered it have turned it down. Boomstick: However we ain't even close to being finished. There is still one more thing Kumagawa possesses. His extreme tenacity. Wiz: Kumagawa's tenacity is possibly his most frightening trait. Due to his long history of losing, Kumagawa can shrug off any kind of beating rather easily. This goes so far as that injuries that would cripple other humans for months, Kumagawa can bounce back from even without All Fiction. Boomstick: Hell this was the main reason he got the attention of Anshin'in in the first place. He is built tonka tough. He took a stab in the back from a knife, a shot from an anti-material rifle, a stun gun shock, concentrated sulfuric acid thrown on him, kicked down at least a flight of stairs and some, and then he was tortured, only to get back up five minutes later and kick the asses of the people who did to him. Wiz: Kumagawa is extremely knowledgeable in battle and can adapt to a situation when the need calls. He also is good at figuring out a person's skill or ability and finding counter measures to them as well as figuring out their limits. Boomstick: He's also a troll, a cheater, and and back stabbing liar. And he does it all with a smile on his face. Wiz: What this means is that Kumagawa will do what ever it takes to get a victory. Whether by cheating, fighting dirty or just plain messing around with a person's head, Kumagawa is by no means a fair player. Boomstick: And thanks to him being a loser, Kumagawa is great at seeing and finding out a person's weakness. Wiz: This stems from the fact that as Kumagawa is the weakest person in the world, he is able to see a person's weak point and cash in out it. The only person exempt from this rule is Medaka Kurokami as according to Kumagawa has no visible weaknesses. Boomsitck: After so many years of being a loser, Kumagawa has done a surprisingly amount of amazing stuff. He has soloed the Plus Six, Hakoniwa's strongest skill users, and six other notable fighters in his debut, avoided the ability of a mind reader, sealed away Anshin'in, the literal god figure, and has even got a victory over Medaka Kurokami. Wiz: However that still does not mean he is perfect. He usually will always take on an opponents first attack and never dodge it. Not to mention an endless loop attack will keep him in a never ending revival-death state. Boomstick: Also there is that little fact that he is the world's greatest loser. Wiz: Nearly every battle Kumagawa has been in, he has always lost. This is mostly due to him finding some ungodly known reason as to why he lost. Boomstick: But even with his faults, there is no denying that Kumagawa is not someone you want to fight anytime soon. Kumagawa: I'm sorry but...it's not my fault. Sans Wiz: In the undereground, there are a wide variety of monsters. Boomstick: Yeah, you got fish people, goat people, and...what ever the hell Alphys is. But none are as mysterious as the elder skeleton brother, Sans. Wiz: Not much is known about Sans other than what has been told. It is said that one he and his younger brother Papryus just showed up in the town of Snowdin and just started living there. Boomstick: Is that even legal? Wiz: Probably. Afterwards, him and Papryus became sentries, guards that are on patrol to search for humans. Boomstick: However, Sans is a lazy bastard and prefers to just sleep on the job or just avoid his job all together. Wiz: Then one day, Sans come into contact with the young humna known as Frisk. Boomstick: Now hold on ladies and gentlemen, this next part is a little confusing. Also, SPOILERS!!! Wiz: The routes with Sans can be a bit confusing, however one thing is clear, near the end of the game the player, and Frisk, is judged by Sans on their actions throughout the game. If the player has not harmed anyone, he'll let the player continue on their way. Boomstick: But, if you chose the genocide route and even murdered his brother, you best get ready for the hardest fight you've been in. Wiz: Sans possess little in form of raw strength or defense, but he definitely makes up for this in his speed and reflexes. Boomstick: He is fast enough to dodge nearly any kind of attack coming at him. Wiz: Combine that with his teleporting- Boomstick: Oh yeah, he has that by the way. Wiz: -Sans can unleash a barrage of high-speed attacks that leave very little room for dodging. Boomstick: But we are just getting started with this guy. ''' Wiz: Sans' and Papryus' main method of attack is by the use of their bones. Sans usually sends out a massive amount of these to attack his foes with and while individually they do very little, large amounts of these bones can dish out a massive amount of punishment. He can also uses these bones to form cages around his enemy and trap them in and blue bones that only really hurt a person if they are moving. '''Boomstick: Then there is Sans's soul manipulation ability. With this power, he turns his opponent's soul blue and this allows him to literally throw the guy around like a rag doll. Wiz: He can also use this ability to pin his foes to the walls and prevent them from jumping and dodging by making them be affected by gravity. Boomstick: And as stated before, Sans has teleportation which he can use to teleport himself and others around. Wiz: However in battle, he likes to use as a way to avoid attacks and move his enemies into new attacks once the old ones have finished. Boomstick: Also Sans likes to have on handy his trusty Gaster Blasters, which are basically dragon skull-shaped lasers cannons. Wiz: These Gaster Blasters fire a powerful laser from their mouths and Sans is able to summon as many of these as he wishes. Boomstick: Along with his attacks, Sans has a special ability known as Karmic Retribution. Wiz: This is a side effect that happens when a person is hit by one of Sans's attacks. This effect acts like a poison for the soul, chipping away at a person's soul. Boomstick: And with the more sins a person has comitted, the more damage it does. Wiz: However when all else fails, Sans will rely on his "special attack". Boomstick: Doing absolutely nothing. No we aren't kidding. Wiz: Despite his outlook appearance and personality, Sans is actually very intelligent. So intelligent that he was able to learn about the SAVE Function, figure out how many times he has killed Frisk just by looking at their face, and is aware of alternative timelines. Boomstick: Not to mention that the guy is a tactical and scientific genius. He will literally pretend to spare his foe and then finish them off when their guard is down. Wiz: He also is rather genre savvy and likes to manipulate standard RPG tropes to trick opponents in battle. Like attacking with his strongest attack on the very first go, taking the first turn, and dodging Frisk's attacks. Something no other character does in the game. Boomstick: With his entire line up, Sans has done some pretty incredible things: he managed to learn about the SAVE Function, killed Flowey and made him reset the most out of any monster, fought and nearly beat the Chara-possessed Frisk, who at that point was capable of killing large groups of monsters with ease. Plus, he is a master of pranks! Wiz: However, don't mistake him for invincible as he can be beaten. Sans has only one point for HP, Attack, and Defense, meaning he has quite low attack power. This means that all his large amount of attacks are meant to make up for his low attack power and his speed and reflexes are meant to make up for his low defenses. Boomstick: Plus Sans is lazy, meaning he usually doesn't fight or put his all into something unless it is absolutely necessary. I mean this is the guy who literally slept in the middle of fight with Frisk while trying to wait him out! Wiz: Speaking of which, Sans can definitely dish out a lot of attacks, but he will get tired from too many attacks in succession. Boomstick: There is also the fact that his special attack is doing absolutely nothing! Which doesn't really work outside RPG setting battles. And while he does know about the SAVE Function, Sans can't really use it himself. Wiz: But still, even with his faults, Sans is more than deserving of his title as the hardest boss in Undertale. Sans: ''it's a beautiful day outside. birds are singing, flowers are blooming... on days like these, kids like you....S h o u l d b e b u r n i n g i n h e l l.'' Intermission Wiz: All right, our combatants are set, it's time to end this debate once and for all. '''Boomstick: It's time for a DEATH BATTLE! DEATH BATTLE! In the Judgement Hall, the elder brother of the Snowdin skeletons, Sans, stood with his eyes closed. He was waiting for the arrival of the human , Frisk, so that he may give him the judgement as he has done several times before. Luckily for the kid, this time around he had not killed any person, which meant that he would be able to continue onwards and not have to fight the skeleton. It was then that Sans heard a soft sound of footsteps. The sound began to get much more audible, as if whatever was making that sound was getting much closer to him. As he opened his eyes, Sans was about to greet the young human, when he stopped. The person in front of him was definitely human; however he was not Frisk. This human was much taller, looked about 17 in human years, had short black messy hair and was wearing some kind of black uniform. However what Sans noticed the most, was the boy's face. The human in front of him was wearing a happy looking smile. But Sans knew better; that smile that the human was wearing... ...was one hundred percent fake. His thoughts were then broken as the human spoke up. 『Hey,』 the human began, 『Are you just going to look at me all day or are you going to say something?』 Sans replied back with, "sorry kid, it's just I was expecting you...whoever you are. I was expecting someone else." The human apparently did not take offense to what he just said because he just kept that smile on his face. 『Oh that's fine,』 he replied back, 『No one is ever really expecting me and I didn't give you my name so it was rather rude to expect you'd know me.』 『My name is Kumagawa Misogi, it's nice to meet you.』 Sans hummed the name, "Kumagawa...Misogi...got it. And sorry, I was just expecting this kid that's about a little younger than you to come by." 『Oh!』 The newly name Kumagawa exclaimed. 『This kid...do they have brown hair?』 If he had an eyebrow, Sans would raise it. "yeah." 『Do they have a sweatshirt that is purple with one blue stripe in the middle?』 "yeah." 『And do they have their eyes closed?』 "yeah, they do. why, you seen them?" 『Yep, I have!』 The black haired teen said as his smile got wider. 『If you are looking for them, they are just little back from where I just came.』 Sans looked at the human with a suspicious look. Why would this guy be telling him this? It was then that the thought dawned onto Sans. "hey, Kumagawa. when you say you've seen them, does that mean you've also met them?" 『Yeah, I have. They were tried to befriend me when we met.』 Sans released the imaginary breath of air he was holding in relief. "well that's a relief." 『That is..,』 Sans looked at the human as he continued to speak and watched as his face became more twisted than before. 『until I decided to kill them.』 The skeleton's eyes then widened as bit as he heard this. "...what...what did you just say? what did you do to the kid?" Kumagawa's face then returned to its default childish smile. 『You didn't hear me?』『What I said is that I killed them.』 The Minus's face then contorted into a malicious smile. 『I sure screwed them real good.』 "..why?" Kumagawa returned back to his default face as he replied, 『Hmmm?』 "you just said all they tried to do was befriend you...so why did you kill them?" FIGHT! K.O. 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